Putin stand-in quotes Churchill as Russians go on charm offensive

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By David Owen in Zurich

December 2 – Hosting the World Cup would help Russians in their quest to build a new country and overcome the difficulties they faced in the 20th century, First Deputy Prime Minister Igor Shuvalov told FIFA today, as Russia brought down the curtain on an intensive two days of bid presentations.

Stepping manfully into the breach left by Vladimir Putin, Russia’s absent Prime Minister, Shuvalov recalled his childhood playing football with an “iron-solid” ball in temperatures of 50 degrees below zero in his native Chukotka.

Needing to recover lost ground quickly after a potentially disastrous two days for their once highly favoured campaign, the Russian bid team sprang some surprises, quoting Winston Churchill (“Russia is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma”), including pole-vaulter Yelena Isinbayeva in their presentation team and sanctioning a surprisingly successful joke by Sports Minister and FIFA Executive Committee member Vitaly Mutko.

Speaking in English – a language in whose proficiency he is not renowned and in echo of Putin’s coup when he turned up in Guatemala three years ago to lend his support to the successful Sochi 2014 Winter Olympic bid – Mutko made a pledge that may be more challenging to keep than building 13 new football stadia.

“If you give us this chance, FIFA, you will never regret it, you will be proud of this choice,” he said, pausing for effect before adding: “I also promise in 2018 I will speak English like my friend Geoff Thompson [England’s FIFA Executive Committee member].

Other highlights of a workmanlike presentation were a map showing that whereas Western Europe had hosted 10 World Cups, Eastern Europe had not staged any.

(Lots of maps have been in evidence here this week, in homage to Rio’s successful use of the tactic in its successful 2016 Summer Olympic bid.)

I also enjoyed a candid contribution by Andrey Arshavin, the Russian team captain, with his Beatles haircut and tie endearingly at half-mast.

“I was not the easiest kid to manage when I was little,” Arshavin confessed.

“I could have chosen the wrong path for the rest of my life” – but, of course, football rescued him.

In sum, there was nothing mind-blowing about this Russian performance.

If they are to snatch victory out of what many will interpret as the jaws of defeat, it will be because of their work prior to today.

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