Inside Insight: Let’s destroy Russia, Qatar – and of course Brazil

It is a bit rough to be writing about such enormously important things like football when the world around us appears to be going completely bonkers. Wars in every corner of the square-headed globe, some idiot developing and launching ever “better” drones (they kill faster and with laser gun precision), robots that will replace humans by 2029, and are smarter – well, hardly a difficult task considering the stupidity that reigns everywhere where humans congregate.

But then, there is the other thing. That “bread and games” thing that this column has written about before and is offered to the clueless masses who have never understood a damned thing other than focusing on their own direct (assumed) needs. And those who are offering, are hardly devoid of any hind-thoughts. No, they are all good people of course, who work for good companies (called governments, these days) and have everybody’s best interest at heart. Well, kind of.

After all the lunacy, hysteria and nastiness leading up to Sochi – basically, consumers of US and UK TV news were 100% certain that a terrorist hell would break loose, if not World War III – nothing happened other than snow in the mountains and sunshine by the seaside (accepted: that is scandalous).

Other than that, Russia won the medals count, the UK got more medals than ever (4) and a guy from Tonga (or was it Vanuatu) launched his brand of underwear (no, he did not win a medal. Far from it. But that’s not the point, was it?). The show at the beginning hiccupped on a flaw and the show at the end joked about it. “Funny they did that; it is how we English would have approached it”, said she and arrogantly moved to the next page to review on the BBC.

Hardly ever was there more disdain, more smut thrown at an entire nation than prior to the Sochi Games. Putin was the crook-in-chief, and one tabloid called Sochi Putin’s Gangster Games. Well balanced journalism or an unbalanced individual? The worst part of Sochi was that nothing happened. Toothpaste was used for the teeth, shoes were used for the feet and AK 47s stayed in Texas. Crap. And we were so ready to see the world go under.

Well, Sochi is done and dusted, and those who predicted doom can now focus on Qatar again, or wait: Russia 2018. What an opportunity! Russia 2018! Putin’s Gangsta Football World Cup. Hail (or is it Heil?) the collective of the International of the United Dimwits! We have another chance at hitting below the belt. Now that should be fun: and there is a full four years to fill the space in tabloids galore – or worse: on blogs that are so concerned about mankind that they forget to declare their own bias.

Brazil has been pretty much written off anyway. Everybody knows that the Brazil World Cup will be a total fiasco, with hundreds of millions of people being murdered in broad daylight, for the entire world to see (especially on Fox News), and football will not happen at all. Brazil is already a basket case. Done. Just like South Africa was – but..but…the South Africans did pull it off, didn’t they? Wait. There was no mass horror there? People survived the World Cup in Africa? But wait again! Could the same thing happen in Brazil? No! Impossible! But in case it it does happen, then we can all focus on bashing Russia again. Isn’t that fantastic? And then Qatar. Fabulous. Or even better: Russia AND Qatar at the same time. Now there’s a slam dunk. Add a few bits about Blatter this, and Blatter that, for good measure (although it was the British female sports minister who suggested that female athletes should partake in more feminine sports, or some such – what the hell was that about!? She should front up to her country’s women’s water polo team who had their cash pulled having just been spread all over Europe to train for Rio – nice girls, perhaps not quite feminine enough for her? Beats Blatter’s hot pants by far, doesn’t it? Yet hardly anybody referred to it. No surprise there).

In brief: Sochi is over and unfortunately nothing untoward happened and even the LGBT community was left unharmed (while the same community is punished by law in Arizona and another 11 US States). The anti-climax of Sochi simply must have repercussions! Russia must be punished. Putin must suffer. And Qatar too, and Brazil too, and… and all those whose roots are not Anglo-Saxon. Are we all on task here? The “Five Eyes” are everywhere, see everything, know it all: USA, GB, Canada, Australia and New Zealand are what matters. They run things. And without them, nothing can happen that is even close to “panem et circensis”, bread and games. Because that, too, was invented there. Not?

The writer of this story has a headache from writing this story and you can’t contact him.